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Turnem's Town of Utmost Sensless Flapdoodle and Utter Cerebral Absurdity [entries|friends|calendar]
Turnem

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[09 Jul 2008|01:52pm]

mrkx1221
 now to be fair if you were to put the last post in turnem it would have to be like, i found this sweet pair of socks on this dead nigger and i stole them from him only to find out that he wasnt dead, just half alive from being hit by a truck, then i took my golf club and whacked his head with it twice and both of his eyeballs shot out and landed in a sewer and with the no longer dead nigger screaming i proceded to shit in his mouth and suffocate him with it, and then i removed the socks only to find out that they were grey and elastic which i found somewhat uncomfortable and threw out 20 minutes later.. the end
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socks [23 Jun 2008|07:43pm]

stellaoncolumns

The only good that came of last night was i got a bonus pair of socks...too bad they are freak socks, and gray? what the hell is with the elastic band through the middle and why gray?

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these are the songs i keep singing [23 Jun 2008|01:12am]

mrkx1221
after the reunion/ union of tonight im thinking about one thing... that is high quality blast beats and the effect they have upon the universe and while i listen to them i feel my insides boil and my brains go gooey like the ooey gooey chicken fingers at 507 oh boy are they are so good as i would feast upon them like in the days of yore as i read upon forgotten lore... blarg i have rambled on like led zepplin again, oh drat i have lost the type of message i have thought of because of my drunken state and i shall just type on until i have nothing left but a pile of ectoplasmic goo that colosus would crush my being into in 8th grade like usual... but i got little to no context so i shall bid you a farewell and wish to hear from this post again as i venture into the darkness you know the darkness..... and if i got a blowjob from abe lincoln i would be the man


peace ~ Mark R aka Marco Marcocron 8000 
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reunion party sex team master squad [22 Jun 2008|11:34pm]

stellaoncolumns
reunion time this is us three chillin and we are reading shit about the past turnemtownness and its pretty fucking funny but anthony isnt here cause he is touching the invisible vagina that is really his weiner and we ate chilis and our server's name was PJ and he was black which was funny his name was really phillip and angela made fun of him for having such a gay name. i am drinking bud light and so is mark but angela is using my pillow as a sex toy and doing gay shit with it. too bad i jizzed on it many times before and she is really getting jizz in her mouth. which will happen also a little later. haha yeah mark r. likes penis in his mouth but i don't judge him. he can do that that if he wants to but mark ate corn on the cob at chilis. who the fuck eats corn on the cob at a restaurant? might as well give him some cornbread and some fried chicken. well yeah turnem is back and we will pass it around like a dirty whore. angela says she has too much hair and her nose is itchy from too much rats. the stink is too strong. we are listening to cynic right now. its like robots with death metal vocals. i better not get too fiesty. i need to keep myself in order. im a good boy. 
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corbis johnson. [06 Jan 2006|12:31pm]

caged_by_christ
Corbis Johnson (c. app. 1134 AD - ?) (also known as “The Man in Dark” ). Not truly known to exist, not know to truly be a man, Corbis Johnson is more of an entity. Thousands have claimed to see him and know him. However there is much speculation on his history and the “truth” of the being.

Biography

Born in approximately 1134 AD, it was said that a noble knight named Duncan, who lived in a small home in England, discovered a naked boy in his barn late one night. The boy had no recollection of who he was, so Duncan took him in as his own. Duncan and his wife Clara raised the boy, whom they named “Cornelius”, and taught him all they knew. Duncan taught young Cornelius the art of sword fighting, and he showed much promise. Guessing the boy was about 5 when they found him, they guess in 7 years time that he was 12. One night while Cornelius was practicing his sword fighting, the house was raided by bandits, working for King Saxlon, a man known for his love for death. Duncan fought valiantly, as he screamed for Cornelius to run. Duncan was slain violently, and Clara was raped. Cornelius did not run, he witnessed it all. His purpose was now known, in those few seconds before his mothers breath became nothing. He would become the most powerful being known to man, to existence. He would become a warrior, a myth, a legend, a God.

Cornelius traveled from his home with nothing but light bear skins, and a small broadsword. Traveling for many days, he came upon a small hut in the mountains. Practically starved to death, he stumbled into the hut. There was a warlock, who immediately cast a strange spell and shot a bolt of unknown energy at Cornelius. The bolt deflected as it contacted Cornelius’s flesh. Something inside Cornelius told him to kill this man. He grabbed his sword, and like a javelin tossed it into the throat of the warlock. Eyes wide, the warlock’s throat was torn and his life left his body. Cornelius, with a strange uncommon disregard for any other life other than his mother and father, ignored the dead man and started searching the hut. There he found a book with strange inscriptions on it. Thumbing through the book, he began to read the pages. They were incantations, as Cornelius, even though very young, began to realize. The black arts where unnatural, just as unnatural as his appearance in the world, but they came natural to him. After a few months in the hut Cornelius was expertly trained in every form of black magic. He left the hut with one more task.

Over the next few years, Cornelius traveled the country, participating in many battle tournaments, always coming out the victor. Over these years Cornelius slaughtered man, and woman. The blood on his face never slowed him down. He horrified people with his black magic, conjuring up creatures from the darkness to devour his foes. His sword always found his mark in his enemies throats. He became the most feared man in all of Europe, in a short time.

His whereabouts became very unclear over the next many years, he quickly became a legend, and people debated over his existence. It is actually know know that Cornelius became involved in Science, in History, in Math, in Politics. He took up every known occupation known to man at the time, and became an absolute master in it. His knowledge surpassed anyone in the world. His magic allowed him to disguise himself as anyone, or anything. He could transform himself into anything he imagined. It had seemed that Cornelius had become as powerful as he wanted. However, he knew that his lifespan would continue on for many years. In fact, thousands of years

Present Time

It is not known what happened to Cornelius after his early years, although after his resurface in the 1700’s he began building his galactic devouring ship, known only as The Shark. His motives were also entirely unknown. It was said that by this time he had already mastered the ability to fly, and to travel through time, although this is widely debated by mythical scholars. It is said he had not gained the ability to time travel until he slew the galactical overlord, Thanos, in the early 1990’s. However some believe his dark arts were powerful enough to do this task. Either way, by 1990 Corbis Johnson was laughed at by most as a dream person, a fairy tale. No one but the people who are actually in current contact with the man calling himself Corbis Johnson actually knows if he exists. Many people have said they have seen him, walking down the street, pondering his further exploits of human time and existence. He is said to walk amongst the mere mortals, “a God amongst piles of shit”. However in 2004 he made his presence known, revealing himself as Corbis Johnson. No one actually believes him, and he has not actually revealed his true powers to any mere mortal, which may actually break their mind in half. He is, though, known as the biggest boss in the drug dealing business.


Known Abilities/Powers

It is known that Corbis Johnson possesses absolute superior grasp over the mystical and dark arts, literally calling upon energies from unknown planes of existence. This is widely thought as the main reason for his power. It is also “said” that he has in his possession the Infinity Gauntlet, but it is unknown if it was actually banished by the Tribunal or taken by Corbis after he allegedly destroyed Thanos. Corbis wears a suit of black platinum imbued with his dark powers, granting him the ability to morph it into anything he chooses, from various blades and axes to high tech weaponry. Corbis travels in a ship known as “The Shark”, which is known as a “galactic eater of worlds”, or the “chariot of existence”. It was apparently built in the 1700’s and took approximately 300 years to build. It is said to be 600,000 miles long, and compared to earth, is four times its size. However it is obviously shield from view by Corbis’s magic, and it is also somehow half intangible as to not block out the sun. It is also widely known that he possesses part of the minds of every infamous killer/barbarian in human history, as Corbis was inadvertedly a reason each of the killers minds were born. Corbis carries a signature cane, which is said to be made out of the scales of a black dragon, whom Corbis kept as a pet for some years, before fighting it with his bare hands, and ripping its skull out of its skin.

Other Information

Corbis Johnson is the sole provider of every drug known to man, and also the creator. One of his rooms on his ship, which is actually the size of a small state, has the weather manipulated so it snows cocaine. Corbis, however does not partake in any drugs but marijuana, and it is said that he creates an invisible bubble around his face, which is filled, every hour of the day with marijuana smoke. Also, although it is obvious that he can create money out of air, he does not, but his estate is estimated approximately 980 centillion dollars, which is said to be more money than the entire world will have even in 1000 years.
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[06 Nov 2005|02:42am]

stellaoncolumns
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I am Back [12 Oct 2005|10:52pm]

stellaoncolumns
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"Disembowelment of A Mentally Retarded Kid With With a Rusty Pickaxe" [25 Sep 2005|10:15pm]

caged_by_christ
DISEMBOWELMENT OF A MENTALLY RETARDED KID WITH A RUSTY PICKAXEEEEEE!!!!!!

Sick fucking waste of breath
Rotting genital wart of society
I need to brutally murder
And kill the retarded

They spit and drool
I want to grind them into gruel
They make fucked up sounds
Smash their skulls into the ground!

Rage is building
I see visions, my face soaked in gore
Laughing and juggling organs
Strangling tards with their own intestines

Stupid blank stare cant take it any more
Grab the kids face and smash it through my windshield
Picking glass from his cranium I lick the brain matter
Throats cut the bloods making gurgling sounds

Go to my shed I grab my pickaxe
Body convulsing in the street
Neighbors stare blankly
Savagely swing the tool and sodomize his anus

{chorus}
Violently puncturing as the blunt rusty object
TEARS, TEARS, TEARS, TEARS
His fucking
ASS, DICK, BALLS, DIE
His life is taken, taken, taken, TAKEN

I AM NOT FINISHED!!!!

Disembowelment not the end!
I thrust my hand deep in the wound
Ripping out organs, corpse begins shitting violently
Covered in feces, blood and guts
My testment to all mentally challenged fucks!

Violently puncturing as the blunt rusty object
TEARS, TEARS, TEARS, TEARS
His fucking
ASS, DICK, BALLS, DIE
His life is taken, taken, taken, TAKEN
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I believe that its on [22 Sep 2005|04:45pm]

mrkx1221
EC deathmetal: you wanna fuckin go?

Platinummrkx1221: RIGHT NOW

EC deathmetal: its fuckin on

Platinummrkx1221: my shirt is off

EC deathmetal: oh yeah

EC deathmetal: my pants are off

Platinummrkx1221: my pants were off and so are my underwear

Platinummrkx1221: its fucking on

EC deathmetal: fuck

Platinummrkx1221: yeah

EC deathmetal: im covered in whipped cream

EC deathmetal: its fuckin on

Platinummrkx1221: i got some chocolate syrup on me

Platinummrkx1221: it is now on

EC deathmetal: i got a big fish in my asshole

EC deathmetal: its on

EC deathmetal: big time

Platinummrkx1221: oh shit

Platinummrkx1221: well i got an octopus hangin off my dick now you know its on

Platinummrkx1221: for shizzle

EC deathmetal: oh fuck no it IS on

Platinummrkx1221: it is MOTHER FUCKING on RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

EC deathmetal: well i got a fuckin dead corpse sucking my cock SO YOUR DAMN
FUCKIN RIGHT ITS ON

Platinummrkx1221: oh yeah well im eating out two dead corpses covered in flame and ITS ALL IN YOUR FUCKING FACE RIGHT NOW AND IT IS THE FUCK ON RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

EC deathmetal: OH YEA WELL I JUST WENT OUTSIDE AND TACKLED A LITLE GIRL OFF HER BIKE, THEN CUT HER STOMACH OPEN AND STARTED FUCKING THE WOUND, THEN I BLEW A LOAD MIXED WITH MAGGOTS IN THE CUT

EC deathmetal: its fucking ON NIGGER

Platinummrkx1221: OH YEAH WELL I JUST FOUND A GUY IN A WHEEL CHAIR AND AFTER I THREW HIM INTO TRAFFIC AND HIS BODY IS NOW LIKE ORANGE JUICE PULP I STARTED JERKING MYSELF OFF WITH IT ONTO HIS WIFES FACE SO ITS MOTHERFUCKING ON RIGHT FUCKING NIGGER NOW

EC deathmetal: WELL I JUST WENT TO A SCHOOL FOR RETARDED KIDS AND STARTED MURDERING THEM ALL WITH A PICKAXE AND AS THEY SCREAM I JUST START CONVULSING IN EROTIC EUPHORIA AND THEN I JUST CUT ALL THEIR CUNTS AND DICKS UP AND MAKE A STEW OUT OF THEM WHICH I THEN EAT

EC deathmetal: ITS ON

Platinummrkx1221: OH YEAH WELL I JUST FUCKING WENT TO A NIGGER SCHOOL AND PUT GRENADES IN THEIR FRIED CHICKEN AND AFTER THEY ATE IT I TOOK THE BOILED BROTH OF ALL OF THE NIGGER REMAINS AND FUCKING PUT IT IN A BALL AND FUCKING LIT THAT ON FIRE AND MADE MORE NIGGERS EAT IT AND THEN BURNED THEM ALIVE WITH A FLAMETHROWER!!! SO YOU BET YOUR FUCKING NIGGER ASS ITS ON RIGHT THE FUCK NOW PUSSY!!!

EC deathmetal: true. true that nigger.

EC deathmetal: it is on.

Platinummrkx1221: yes it is
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some things to enjoy [19 Sep 2005|09:26am]

mrkx1221

i went to the harry potter chat to make fun of everyone and every time i go on and say some normal racist shit like cho chang is a fucking gook or im gonna roll up to hogwarts with an ak and eliminate the niggers and jews and harry potter is a fucking pussy and i will snap his wand in half and force feed him his wand with broken glass and barbed wire... they send me thousands of these bot IM things that piss me off and then i am forced to restart the program but now i blocked everyone who isnt on my buddy list and now i can just talk shit to everyone on the chats

 

 

 

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[12 Sep 2005|04:01pm]

stiemy812
mark punched michael jackson in his vagina and his ovaries exploded in agony. poor michael cant have any bebes.
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[12 Sep 2005|02:43pm]

caged_by_christ
Stiemy 812 (9:50:58 PM): combat wolverine!!!

EC deathmetal (9:51:10 PM): fight level mastery 5!

Stiemy 812 (9:52:44 PM): the master sword is powerful!

EC deathmetal (9:54:45 PM): the songs of ancient keys unite!

Stiemy 812 (9:55:06 PM): Raise the flag! but only before the sun!

EC deathmetal (9:56:00 PM): the kings of rock fly into the starry sky!

Stiemy 812 (9:57:36 PM): MR ZURGA! i have the emerald palace at ur cammand!

EC deathmetal (9:58:48 PM): and the crystals combine to create ATTURACK ancient dragon ghost of shadows!

Stiemy 812 (9:59:24 PM): IF the face of the master appears in the window do not be alarmed by his frightening bear claws! GO GO GADGET HANDS
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[12 Sep 2005|09:23am]

mrkx1221
so im sitting in class and i was starting to daydream... like i got up in the dream and was like im the mother fuckin teacher and i pulled out a spaz 12 shotgun that corey threw through the window to me and i blew away the teacher leaving nothing but orange juice pulp then there was a crazy sexy party with a whole bunch of hot women and crazy techno music and me killing random people who dont belong in my crazy club class... then i woke up and the teacher was like fuck you and i was like you wanna start something and slapped his flabby face and i jumped out of the seat and shoved a grenade in his mouth and watched him piss himself while i laughed and exterminated the jews one by one..... is this real life or is this just fantasy???
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[11 Sep 2005|03:57pm]

caged_by_christ
simon and garfunkle....two guys.....10,000 people.....someone explain
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batman [08 Sep 2005|03:30pm]

mrkx1221
hey i was watching batman and robin, one of the worst batman movies made if not the worst and i was thinking that alfred is a little bitch, i mean bruce wayne should walk around wayne manor fighting alfred, you know keeping him in shape and shit not having alfred get all old and have sloppy titties, then batman would be like yo alfred get me a fuckin sandwich and punch his old ass in the face 20 times... and i think alfred should get a slave servant so when alfred isnt getting his ass kicked by batman he could call upon his slave servant otis who lives in the septic tank of wayne manor and have otis clean up after him and make him food and shit and alfred could whoop otis every day just for being black.. otis would be played by lavar burton because that is a black guy that should be beaten daily and be forced to live in a lair of shit, i think robin should start to fight random people in the street and be like yo im robin ill fuckin snap your neck right here and attack mexicans for no reason whatsoever and he would drag them by their necks while he drives his motorcycle at 100 miles per hour, then batwoman should be a sex slave to both batman and robin to fulfill their desires because thats all she needs.
2 comments|post comment

[02 Sep 2005|10:57pm]

stiemy812
i would really like to turn into a rock right now. a big rock. with eyes and a nose.
1 comment|post comment

[29 Aug 2005|08:11pm]

caged_by_christ
If ebay were a person I would have sex with it.
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[29 Aug 2005|05:32pm]

mrkx1221

so last night i drank 40 gallons of kool aid and wished to summon the almighty kool aid guy... he came through my wall and was like oooh yeah and i told him i wanted to have sex with him multiple times and tap into his goodness!!!!! He said OOH YEAH! and i told him to go fuck himself and took out my sledgehammer and shattered his glass body... and only the piece of glass with his face on it said why did you do that and i just pissed on his glass face and crushed it with my foot

 

 

this is whats left of him

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happy birthday corey [28 Aug 2005|11:43pm]

stellaoncolumns
Happy Birthday!!

And i sure as fuck hope you had a better day then i did. my hard disk is fried...i took it to those geeks at best buy because i could not do Shit to help the damn thing. there goes butt loads of music i should have backed up. it is still in my ipod so i should be able to get some out. so i am using my brothers computer. he is like sooo buy a new one...i guess he don't know about this little thing you have to pay back after college called STUDENT LOANS. well corey send me a little bit o mail and tell me about your day. hey mark thanks for the add on myspace. OHH and Anthony fuck you in your stupid ass for not accepting me. Fig Newtons are made out of fig and Newton...GAY. Corey Darling that was not the 4th dimension...you were just drunk. i miss you guys so everyone send me mail so theat when i can get online i check it and feel the love you are like the sick demented computer brothers that i never met.
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[28 Aug 2005|05:13pm]

stiemy812
fig newtons are made of fig and newton!
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